Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

There are few things in life worse than a long-winded lawyer.

Unexpected and pleasant surprises occur every day...random kindnesses from a stranger

love was never meant to bejust a metaphorbetween the pages of poetry.

I didn't ask to be born!""No, but I asked." He was breathing hard. His eyes hard and glinting with a fire that burned straight through me. "I asked for you every day of my life!

Japanese attitudes toward work seem to be critically different from American attitudes.

What am I that I am called upon to have prejudices concerning the universe?

We are not called to bring a broken planet back to its created glory. But we are to call broken people back to their creator.

A beard on a man is only a way of hiding something, his face of course, but also the inner matters, like a hedge around a secret garden, or a cover over a bird cage.

I like to get everything done during the early morning hours and the early part of the day.

When I have plucked the rose, I cannot give it vital growth again, It needs must wither. I'll smell it on the tree.