Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Healing from a loss doesn't happen on schedule.You need to give the head and heart time to catch up with the reality.

Life is a mystery, not a riddle. It has to be lived, not solved.

Misery loves company.

Any measurement must take into account the position of the observer. There is no such thing as measurement absolute, there is only measurement relative.

Letters are the real curse of my existence. I hate to write them: I have to. If I don't, there they are - the great guilty gates barring my way.

Learning is defined as a change in behavior. You haven't learned a thing until you take action and use it.

Oh, you know, driving around, coming to a stop sign and an entire family, from 8 to 80, will be looking at me with that Dr. Evil look - pinkie on the mouth.

To hell with that. If a guy can pull a big erg, I can teach him how to row.

The world going insane and evil letting slip the birds of war is no excuse for sloppy vocabulary.

When a political organization loses contact with its origin, it declines and risks implosion.