Black Stache had no love for the Queen, no love for women of any sort, except for his ma. He had a real soft spot for his ma, and was truly sorry for the time he’d marooned her.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. work is the key to success, and hard work can help you accomplish anything.

[T]hrough bitter experience I have learned that it is best to promise little and then to reward hard work with generosity.

There is a power within and without. If you ask, it answers. It's just a matter of being calm and wise and listening. It takes years.

Humans need to be a little crazy, spontaneous, unusual, free-flowing, and creative.

When in need, then you shall know those who will care.

Just the night before, a puma’s howl had set a chill at my spine and, man, life didn’t get any richer than that.

We are all 'foreigners' to [the remainder of: the human race minus our countrymen].

Each little chapter has its place.

The last thing we need is Hillarycare. The last thing we need is socialized medicine.

Antiquity is full of the praises of another antiquity still more remote.