Black, white, yellow, brown - we wanted somebody who would do right by us. And I think because Obama was that person, whether he was black or white, he was chosen

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

When you love God for real, you will love His creation

My books, at any rate, deserved to be burned.

I wanted to prevent people from giving them too much power. I see that as a pattern. I wanted that to come to an end as soon as possible.

I try not to worry about things I can't do anything about.

Simplicity means to feel such a sense of kinship with others that we choose to live simply so that others may simply live.

The quicker you are in attaching verbal or mental labels to things, people, or situations, the more shallow and lifeless your reality becomes, and the more deadened you become to reality

Certainly situation comedy is harder than people who are good at it make it look, but it's fun to do something different.

All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.

I believe the biggest themes of life are put into the best focus when held up against the very sharp light of mortality.

I love Shakespeare. In Shakespeare, tragedy is not just something that's bad. It's something that could be good and is bad.