Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Only strong people can find happiness from the sadness surrounding them.

Law is for everyone, justice is for few.

My experience of what can happen and what actually happens is a world apart, so stop worrying!

A piercing satire, a poignant family drama and an investigation of the competing claims of honesty, loyalty, ambition and love.

When one door opens, so does another one.

In the Year 2000 men will finally discover that the reason women go to the bathroom in pairs... is to make out.

The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.

You can't delegate growth or customer satisfaction.

We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget.

Sexy is a girl who's comfortable with herself. Long legs are beautiful... and also a nice neck.