Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!

There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

I had never known any man to die while speaking in terza-rima

It'll be the biggest decision of my life. Knowing me, I'll probably make the wrong choice.

If I die a violent death, as some fear and a few are plotting, I know that the violence will be in the thought and the action of the assassins, not in my dying.

I have a really close relationship with God. I have more conversations with God, and it's very therapeutic to me. It helps me through a lot of trials and tribulations.

The cat always leaves a mark on his friend.

I like showing the gritty truthful dark side of humanity.

Laughing cheerfulness throws the light of day on all the paths of life.

I look upon India-U.S. nuclear cooperation as an act of historic reconciliation.

When I was a kid, I was a cowboy. I had a cap pistol, and I'd get up in the morning and strap it on before I got ready.

Love turns a heart to crystal...Much more valuable, but much more fragile.