Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.

All art preserves mysteries which aesthetic philosophers tackle in vain.

God will never violate His Word, but He doesn’t seem to mind violating our understanding of His Word.

Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.

There's been an awful lot of silence in make culture about this ongoing tragedy of men's violence against women and children... we need to break that silence, and we need more men to do that.

I toured the Middle Eastern countries with the ballet.

Our character is revealed by how we treat people who cannot help us or hurt us.

I'm a private intellectual, not a public one.

Updike worked this way, and I just kinda borrowed it from him. So the memoir will be relief from novel writing for a moment.

I think there is something, more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers, there aren't enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision.