Boeing is working on an invisible fighter jet so nobody can see who's flying it. Didn't George Bush fly this in the National Guard, I believe?

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

I have a hard time trusting a person without a couple of murders on his record, Mr. Draedax.

Do your part to help reap a harvest, and trust God to do His part.

I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.

The less their ability, the more their conceit.

Man is a tool-making animal

Humility forms the basis of honor, just as the low ground forms the foundation of a high elevation.

God is more lasting than the white man.

The Moment You Stop Making Mistakes Is The Moment You Stop Learning

It is false to believe that the sun revolves around the earth, but it is not absurd.