Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

People say- 'NASA lies.' I say- 'the moon knows it all. Look at the moon and forget the spinning flat world.

If it feels nice, just throw the dice.

Bread for me is a material question. Bread for my neighbor is a spiritual one.

Fitness is defined differently by everyone, but for me, the most important thing is being healthy. As tennis players, what we do is not the healthiest thing. We almost abuse our bodies.

I wouldn't know all that I do about history, if I spent my time watching cartoons and other TV shows.

History is not a suicide note -- it is a record of our survival.

It's a terrible thing wishing that it can be someone else's tragedy.

It's Connecticut: being like the people around you is the whole point.

The road less traveled will not be smooth

I'm writing a film called 'Bug.' It's an original script, and it's not about killer insects. It's a thriller set in a high school. The bug of the title refers to a surveillance device.