Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Atra esterni' ono thelduin Mor' rana li'fa unin hjarta onr Un du evari'nya ono varda (May good fortune rule over you peace live in your heart may the stars watch over you)

Every philosophy is the philosophy of some stage of life.

How can there be pride in a contrite heart? Humility is the earliest fruit of religion.

I'm just opposed to a pure inflation-only mandate in which the only thing a central bank cares about is inflation and not employment.

Like stones rolling down hills, fair ideas reach their objectives despite all obstacles and barriers. It may be possible to speed or hinder them, but impossible to stop them.

You learn every single day when youre running a company. You learn as you go.

You cannot explain me with "isms." They are very bad for an artist. What one must believe in is color.

God is to creation as silence is to sound.

We've been using C and C++ way too much - they're nice, but they're very close to the machine and what we wanted was to empower regular users to build applications for Linux.

Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.