Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

If you don’t know where you are going, ask those who have been there.

Your father died for me, and dying with you would be an honor, though not as great as dying to save you.

Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them. They make the impossible happen.

I have found the right way to deal with my diet, largely through trial and error, but also by having good people around me all the time, and they have given me the right advice for my body.

I say nothing, because I was able to get Barack Obama to produce [birth certificate]. He should have produced it a long time before. I say nothing.

People have to stop employing illegal immigrants.

Right now I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna do, 'cause I don't want to sit around on my backside all day. If I'm gonna do that I'll be a newspaper reporter.

Most fiction series are written so that the reader can come in at any point and not feel lost, but if you can start at the beginning, why not?

Take things slowly. No need to worry about it. Plenty of people moved things and couldn't remember they'd done it.

When we do something we're not proud of, a lot of people don't want to look at that, people may say "what people don't know won't hurt them."