Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I hear my silence talked of in every lane

We're traveling into the territory of I don't care. Let's not take that trip, hmm?"Arrogant. Mean. Still gorgeous.

The woods are full of poison berries but you don't have to eat them.

The only politician ever to have entered parliament with honourable intentions, was Guy Fawkes.

Man is raw and wild, that is one of the reasons why he needs the Christian teaching.

We could have been happy. I know that, and it is perhaps the hardest thing to know.

He (Babe Ruth) was very brave at the plate. You rarely saw him fall away from a pitch. He stayed right in there. No one drove him out.

Democrats don't relate to middle-class people.

I had a clear idea about what time is till I was asked to explain it and ceased to understand it altogether as soon as I began explaining it.

We need to do a better job of keeping oceans healthy.