Bren MacGuff: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream.

Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

I'm glad that as a 33-year-old working mother, I can still choose to wear a Hello Kitty T-shirt or stay up late scrolling through the Twitter feed of my junior-high crush.

Couture gowns are like gremlins; you can't expose them to bright light or get them wet.

Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

He is the cheese to my macaroni.

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

It doesn't matter if they're in front of the camera or behind the camera. I know women who are producers who are surviving on nothing but juice and almonds.

I think sometimes people really require the satisfaction of closure.

I have never seen the Philosopher's Stone that turns lead into Gold, but I have known the pursuit of it turn a Man's Gold into Lead.

People meeting for the first time suddenly relax if they find they both have cats. And plunge into anecdote.

No matter how bad the individual, everybody has reasons for why they do what they do.

The happiest people are the ones who follow their own dreams most closely.

I didn't train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can

When you're indestructible, then nothing is a threat really. So nothing needs to be taken that seriously.

You're never really cancer-free and I should have known that.

I answered my father's demands for sympathy with silence.

The idea of working with Steven Spielberg was very attractive. He's such a master. He knows the language of the camera and of filmmaking, which gives him a great freedom.

Getting rich begins with the right mindset, the right words and the right plan.