Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.

The very essence of playfulness is an openness to anything that may happen, the feeling that whatever happens, it's okay... you're either free to play, or you're not.

What have the Romans ever done for us?

All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.

Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Creativity is not the possession of some special talent. It’s about the willingness to play.

When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.

When I find the guy who torched that forest, I'm going to eat him. And I'm only going to half-cook him first.-Sergeant Schlock

It made me happy that poems are referred to in the present tense even when the poet is in the past tense.

PREFACE PROBLEM: Nobody reads prefaces.SOLUTION: Call the preface Chapter 1.NEW PROBLEM CREATED BY SOLUTION: Chapter 1 is boring.RESOLUTION: Throw away Chapter 1 and call Chapter 2 Chapter 1.

The exact Quantity and Quality being found out, is to be kept to constantly.

The world's deadliest poison, can be your own thoughts.

Mo'Nique is so full of love. I've been describing her as the tree in 'Pocahontas.' She's so wise and loving. She is just everything.

Everyone’s a believer when things are going fine. The real faith is when one becomes patient with tribulations.

I'm glad that I get to take my final walk as the princess of 2012. ...there's nothing wrong with winning an Oscar!

To marry is to get a binocular view of life.

Americans are a wonderful people: They will always do the right thing--after exhausting every other possible alternative.