Bush met with former President Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter is 76 years old, or as Democrats call him 'their bright new star of the future.'

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Clouds cannot cover secret places, nor denials conceal truth.

You're no t going to please everybody.

In anything that does cover the whole of your life - in your philosophy and your religion - you must have mirth. If you do not have mirth you will certainly have madness.

I am profoundly moved and persuaded by the near-death experience.

Hey ! Ain t it glorious to be living?

Good resolutions are a pleasant crop to sow.

The Christian religion and National Socialist doctrines are not compatible.

Nothing remains but to hope the end will come to extinguish the unrelenting pain of waiting for it.

All things human hang by a slender thread; and that which seemed to stand strong suddenly falls and sinks in ruins.

Irrespective of how we physiologically are made, even possessing special weaknesses, we can overcome our sins through the Lord.