But I don't want to be a pirate!

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Memory is always in art, even when it works involuntarily.

The Italians seem to have a better attitude with kids and the food is great!

As we hang beneath the heavens, and we hover over hell, our hearts become the instruments we learn to play so well.

Just because it's on the radio doesn't mean we have to suspend belief in the evidence of our senses.

I try each day, each month, each year to become a better and better person and to be good to the people I love and let them know how much I appreciate them.

I love movies that have that resonating scare, that really get under your skin and make you think.

A true friend is a friend when in difficulty

The silence that accepts merit as the most natural thing in the world is the highest applause.

I wonder about the trees. Why do we wish to bear Forever the noise of these More than another noise So close to our dwelling place?

The Liberals talk about a stable government but we don't know how bad the stable is going to smell.