But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

God had already determined your success even before you were born

Ever have a dream so real you felt you could reach out and touch it?

When a girl is beautiful, she gets to pick - she never has to wait for someone to choose her.

Over 20 million children of conflict are out of school. Education is often forgotten.

I like tall girls because I like someone to look up to.

Everyone we regard as brilliant has endured an enormous amount of failure.

Vanity is the natural weakness of an ambitious man, which exposes him to the secret scorn and derision of those he converses with, and ruins the character he is so industrious to advance by it.

A movie star is not an artist, he is an art object.

The work of artists is to find what's humanly possible - possibility's furthest reaches.

A hit, a very palpable hit.