But children, hark! Your mother would rather, When you arrived, have been your father.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

On a fulcrum in my chest, grief and relief are balanced in equal measure.

A lot of people us the internet searching for fifteen minutes of fame I've been on it so long and so often I need fifteen minutes of Freedom

Lord, I want to be your slave.

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.

I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.

I do everything on the computer. TV is obsolete technology for me.

As an entrepreneur, don't follow the crowd; let them follow you.

Are you aware of the significance of every thought, of every reaction that you happen to have?

I'm attracted to playing things that I find difficult, just because it's a journey that is much more interesting.

This relationship is going to be built on trust.