But for fatherhood advice, try to look your child in the eye.... Get to know their name; that becomes important when you want something. And remember to feed them. That's about all you need.

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

To be is the greatest paradox of life facing death.

Nothing is good for everyone but only relatively to some people.

The question is: Particularly in the post-9/11 era, are societies becoming more liberal or more authoritarian?

A woman can be seeking attention and also make a statement.They don't need to be mutually exclusive.

So he's like a human compass? As far as superpowers go, that's pretty lame. You're like the Caster equivalent of Aquaman.

I'm dead annoyed that I'm finding it so difficult to stop. But I am getting there [on kicking smoking habit]

Books are slow. They require time; they are written slowly, published slowly, and read slowly.

You look at things you enjoy in your life, but much more important is what you can do to make the world a better place.

In a market economy, however, the individual has some possibility of escaping from the power of the state