But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

The madness of youth made me unafraid.

Every sinner is now on trial once for all. He is now invited by the bleeding Saviour, urged by all the horrors of hell, to enter heaven. But death closes the possibility for ever.

the process of reading is reciprocal; the book is no more than a formula, to be furnished out with images out of the reader's mind.

Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.

Be wary of passing the judgment: obscure. To find something obscure poses no difficult, elephants and poodles find many things obscure.

I have been tried and condemned without a hearing, and I suppose I shall have to go to the execution.

In 1929 the discovery of the wonders of the geometric series struck Wall Street with a force comparable to the invention of the wheel.

I'm sure there are people who say like, "I was wearing weird emo eyeliner," but there's something pretty embarrassing about the jazz phase.

Because there is no ego, God can flow through you; great creativity becomes possible.

This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet