But whats the use of being old if you cant be dumb?

Much as I like owning a Rolls-Royce, I could do without it. What I could not do without is a typewriter, a supply of yellow second sheets and the time to put them to good use.

An artist is his own fault.

Becoming the reader is the essence of becoming a writer.

Never play cards with a man named Doc, and never eat at a place called Mom's.

In every marriage the wife has to keep her mouth shut about at least one small thing her husband does that disgusts her.

Illinois is a state of suspended animation and the people live in hibernation from Oct. to whenever it ever gets warmer.

Hot lead can be almost as effective coming from a linotype as from a firearm.

The trouble is people leave too much to luck. They get married and then trust to luck. They should be sure in the first place.

George Gershwin died on July 11, 1937, but I don’t have to believe it if I don’t want to.

Socially, I never belonged to any class, rich or poor. To the rich I was poor, and to the poor I was poor pretending to be like the rich.

Sometimes you have to create your own sunshine.

True Christianity finds all of its doctrines in the Bible

I bear a charmed life.

Your words surround you like fog and make you hard to see.

Well, I think it's pretty much established that I just didn't have any interest in coaching in the pros.

I feel extraordinarily peaceful when I'm watching the sun set.

Anyone who makes plans for after the revolution is a reactionary.

The Billy Carter of the British monarchy.

Everyone knows everything about all of us. That's too much knowledge!

I'm a New Yorker; I've paid my dues.