But whoever heard of enchanted bacon anyway?

I think we ought to live happily ever after.

To love someone enough to let them go, you had to let them go forever or you did not love them that much.

That's why I love spiders. 'If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again.

Writing for adults, you have to keep reminding them of what is going on. The poor things have given up using their brains when they read. Children you only need to tell things to once.

Happiness isn't a thing. You can't go out and get it like a cup of tea. It's the way you feel about things.

A heart's a heavy burden.

She was remorseless, but she lacked method.

I am a believer in free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so.

Only thin, weak thinkers despise fairy stories. Each one has a true, strange fact hidden in it, you know, which you can find if you look.

Being a hero means ignoring how silly you feel.

To remain silent is the most useful service that a mediocre speaker can render to the public good.

A lot of people never use their initiative because no-one told them to.

The old religions said that he was an atheist who did not believe in God. The new religion says that he is the atheist who does not believe in himself.

The American Public is who I'm interested in. Ultimately, if they think I'm good and they think I'm entertaining that's all that matters.

I've never sexually harassed anyone, and yes, I was falsely accused while I was at the National Restaurant Association.

In my neighborhood, when you've got something to say to a guy, you look him in the eye and you say it to him.

I have a voice. It's one of my gifts. I intend to use it on behalf of the children that UNICEF seeks to aid.

In this world it is becoming more and more unpopular to be a Christian. Soon it may become dangerous.

If you're going to write something, that's going to be read by people, a lot of people, you hope it will not only entertain them but maybe do them some good in some way.

Every once in a while I feel the tremendous force of the novel. But it does not stay with me.