Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

I think pimp, therefore i am.

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

Genius is often called crazy, but crazy is never called genius. So you just have to put out the work and let the chips fall where they may.

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

All comedy comes from a dark place.

My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.

America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.

The past is something for you to learn from and the future is something that you hope is going to happen, but I'm always speaking to my actual fans in present tense.

There's only winning and losing, and in our society, as in all societies, there's the person that's doing the winning, or there's the person that's facilitating the winning.

Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.

Nothing liberates our greatness like the desire to help the desire to serve.

I have only one rule in acting - trust the director and give him heart and soul.

Some advice to you guys, don't ever take keep your phone in your pocket whilst on a roller coaster.

The honors Hollywood has for the writer are as dubious as tissue-paper cuff links.

You see Boris Becker, Mats Wilander, Nadal, Pete Sampras - they were all great when they were young. As a coach, you can see that type of talent at an early age.

Hello, it's a dream for me to play for Real Madrid. Thank you for the great welcome. Go Madrid!

Would a writer know how to behave himself with relation td posterity? Let him consider in old books what he finds that he is glad to know, and what omissions he most laments.

Who would thought only of themselves and kill their race? You would hate other people if you don't want to stay who you are.

Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.

I started imagining this whole different world. It was a society of musicians, a family I hoped I could belong to one day.