By the end of the Twentieth Century, taxation will be reduced to a minimum, the entire world will be open to trade, and there will be no need of a standing army.

Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of pleasures, costs nothing, and conveys much.

Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of pleasures costs nothing and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and receives and thus like mercy is twice blessed.

Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.

His voice is to entertainment what the kazoo is to classical music.

Are you going to let the obstacles in your life be stumbling blocks or stepping stones? Choose the positive. You are the master of your attitude.

We all have unresolved shame, because it is used as a tool to control behavior.

When you advertise fire extinguishers, open with the fire.

He who saves you from war is better than he who sends you to war.

Yeah, most guys don't like to think about going to a bar with a girlfriend and watching her leave with someone else.

He who lays up treasures in heaven looks forward to eternity

There is a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.

Poverty is abandonment. We have abandoned the poor.