By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?' 'You can call me whatever you like.' Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.

We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant

Doors are for people with no imagination.

I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.

I'm sophisticated, charming, suave, and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilized.

Kindness suits you." "Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.

The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven." "Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil

Well, for future reference, this is my serious face.

Plans are invitation to disappointment.

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

Are you sulking?” “Me? No. I don’t sulk.” “You sound like you’re sulking.” “I’m just waiting for the violent urges to subside.

Positive Thinking Is Practical There is in the worst of fortune the best of chances for a happy change.

We can't do both. If you want us to lead, don't criticize us. And if you want us to play a supporting role, then tell us who is going to lead.

I think people think I spend loads but I very rarely treat myself. I could splash out on lots of things but I put my money into properties.

Dogs get lost hundreds of times and no one ever notices it or sends an account of it to a scientific magazine.

This life at best is but an inn, and we the passengers.

Stories are equipment for living.

We need to ensure the poorest in the planet - who will be hardest hit by the financial crisis - are not forgotten.

Every family has bad memories.

Say what you mean to do...and take it for granted you mean to do right. Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one...you will wrong him and wrong yourself by equivocation of any kind.

A lexicographer, a writer of dictionaries, a harmless drudge.