CALVIN: As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

There is no organ inside our body that does not serve a vital purpose

Every woman is as bitter as gall. But she has two good moments: one in bed, the other at her death.

Tell me a truth, Senna.""I don't know how.""Then tell me a lie.""I don't love you.""The truth is for the mind, " he says. "Lies are for the heart. So let's just keep lying.

I hate birthdays. I hate birthday parties. I hate them. I don't know what it is, anybody's only got to come wafting near me with a piece of cake with a candle on and I break out in hives.

It's always enjoyable to listen to a friend's work, but if it doesn't resonate with you, then you can just appreciate it and it inspires you in its own way.

Life is a waste without humor -- living is all about happiness and laughter.

Being on camera, you have a responsibility to look good. If you don't, you'll hear about it.

Very few people know this, but I love organizational products and tools. One of my favorite places to shop are container stores where you can get bins, boxes and crates to organize your life.

Everything in the universe is constantly changing, and nothing stays the same, and we must understand how quickly time flows by if we are to wake up and truly live our lives.

I try to be the fixer of situations and I gravitate to people who are institutional misfits.