CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

and it is hard to let go, to imagine alternatives, but you are bold with unknowing, you are ready to explore.

The job of reflection is to add a dimension of fable to the reality!

Why did God make man before he made woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.

I do not need a trophy to tell myself that I am the best.

All human desire is poised on an axis of paradox, absence and presence its poles, love and hate its motive energies.

Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four years?

Look at my body. Does it look like I sue steroids?

Prayer unites the soul to God.

Our partnership has been built on four pillars The first pillar is peace. The second pillar is freedom. The third pillar is respect. The fourth pillar is cooperation.

Love has made me a different person. It has made the world beautiful.