COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Every choice we make affects the other. It always has… We share our choices and our burdens. But that way neither of us has to carry the weight alone—You have never been alone.

Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions.

Americans really don't know much about chess. But I think when I beat Spassky, that Americans will take a greater interest in chess. Americans like winners.

The thrill of terror is passive, masochistic, and implicitly feminine. It is imaginative submission to overwhelming superior force.

All emphasis in American prisons is on punishment, retribution, and disparagement, and almost none is on rehabilitation.

Anatomy presupposes a corpse; psychology presupposes a world of corpses.

'Young Indiana Jones' was one of the happiest times I ever had, so I love television.

I estimate that 75% of those organizations using Scrum will not succeed in getting the benefits that they hope for from it.

I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.

In the Islamic government all people have complete freedom to have any kind of opinion.