CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

You have been gifted the Blood Diamond and are surrounded by all that is good. You will not fail as long as you believe.” Analea

A novel is a bridge from one heart to another. - Anon

Look for the person everyone hates, and love them.

I heard that all the time. ‘He makes it look too easy, he doesn’t run hard.’ It was always a slight on me.

He who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, coolly answers and ceases when he has no more to say is in possession of some of the best requisites of man

The artist makes his living by pretending, by putting it in a meaningful hole though no such holes exist.

I'm so tired of waiting, aren't you, for the world to become good and beautiful and kind?

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

The splendor of a soul in grace is so seductive that it surpasses the beauty of all created things.

The taxing power is especially something after which the reformer's finger always itches.