Cabaret is a great format. All you have to do is sing and be funny sporadically.

Fear can be the result of admiration, or it can be a symptom of contempt.

I'm not big on regret - until time travel actually exists, it seems like a waste of making yourself feel bad

Do you think trees are the new birds? Don’t answer that right away.

When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my content, and that's what I do.

I consider Greeks the Jews of the sea.

I’m really afraid of spiders and my own feelings.

Having one of your like dumb sort of stream of consciousness tweets used against you on a right wing website is the ultimate compliment.

Is it a different New York since Lou Reed died? It’s been a different New York since I saw him in his sweatpants at the Cozy Soup ‘n’ Burger.

Podcasts themselves cannot exist without the Internet - in a way they are a microcosm of the Internet.

If the Cowardly Lion were on RuPaul’s Drag Race, so much of my childhood would be less nightmarish.

AimlesslyIt pounds the shore. White and aimless signals. NoOne listens to poetry.— from "Thing Language

In that hothouse atmosphere, criminal records bloomed like orchids all around us.

Forest deep, silent bellsThere's a secret no one tellsValley quiet, water stillLynburns watching on the hillApples red, corn goldAlmost everyone grows old

The first thing you have to learn is how to conduct dialogue and how to make it productive.

I can play just about any keyboard but I can't read or write a note.

With the tough mind, there must also be a tender heart.

To judge a man's character by only one of its manifestations is like judging the sea by a jugful of its water.

It is because nobody has been teaching you about hate; hence, hate has remained pure, unadulterated. When a man hatesyou, you can trust that he hates you.

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.

I don't think you should ever take life so serious that you forget to play.