California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

All plots are cliche.

Jesus was not a theologian. He was a God who told stories.

Where choice begins, Paradise ends, innocence ends, for what is Paradise but the absence of any need to choose this action?

Youth is a silly, vapid state, Old age with fears and ills is rife, This simple boon I beg of Fate - A thousand years of Middle Life.

I can receive nothing more from these tragic solitudes than a little empty purity.

But there are still the hours, aren't there? One and then another, and you get through that one and then, my god, there's another.

My favorite photograph, is the one I will take tomorrow.

When one encounters truth, one encounters the God whose truth it is.

I'm not perfect, but I'm focused when I have a goal.

What is companionship where nothing that improves the intellect is communicated, and where the larger heart contracts itself to the model and dimension of the smaller?