Calvin: I'm a genius. I can't believe how smart I am. ...I've got more brains than I know what to do with. Hobbes: So I've noticed.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world.

This truth I firmly hold, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding; my life has been a gift, a blessing to the world.

We still need to feed the public, both physically and intellectually.

If New York is the Big Apple, tonight Hollywood is the Big Nipple.

Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.

Expectations are like hidden rocks in your path , All they do is trip you up

... occasionally I see rich-looking women on Rollerblades gripping leashes and being towed bodily by golden retrievers. That's my kind of jogging.

In a weird way, I live vicariously through the characters I play as an actor.

Some people are so worn down by the yoke of oppression that they give up.

I relax my body completely, relax my mind completely, and then imagine myself at a level where anything can happen.