Can a woman entertain a man and a pet at the same time? I say unto thee, one of the twain shall suffer jealousy.

Imagination is like a lofty building reared to meet the sky; whereas fancy is a balloon that soars at the wind's will.

To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.

There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness.

Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter.

I never saw a purple cow; I never hope to see one; But I can tell you, anyhow, I'd rather see than be one.

The fear of women is the beginning of knowledge.

Old friends, we say, are best, when some sudden disillusionment shakes our faith in a new comrade.

If in the last few years you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.

When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress.

Without bigots, eccentrics, cranks and heretics the world would not progress.

God arranges everything for us, so that we need have no more fear or trouble and may be quite sure that all things will come right in the end.

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination.

Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it.

I think there's something unromantic about marriage. You're closing yourself off.

There's a small still center into which conception can arrive. And when it arrives, you make it welcome with your experience.

The counter-argument would be, so what if my sexual relationships are superficial, one can still have satisfying and rewarding relationships with friends, or parents, or siblings, or whatever.

I didn't vote for him, but he's my President, and I hope he does a good job.

Life, when is spent well, is long.

He that divines the secret of my music is freed from the unhappiness that haunts the whole world of men.

There is no clear-cut distinction between example and theory