Can't even feel dissapointed when seeingheaven ain't as wonderful as ever expected.

If you say that you never lie in life, you honestly insult my intelligence.

Sometimes, some lies that spoken with high confidencecould be more receptive than facts that spoken with doubt.

Every man should believe in something.If not..he would doubt everything, even himself.

Smartass Disciple: Master, do you really believe in the second chance?Master of Stupidity: That supports the basis of lost-then-found concept.

Not all can believe anything they want to, because not all have the ability to believe.

Smartass Disciple: Why do arrogant people like to say complex words ?Master of Stupidity: Ask them straight! You'll get a simple scary version.

Disinformation is duping. Misinformation is tricking.

Pick a truth that blesses your life!

Smartass Disciple: If there were two masters, which one should I listen to?Master of Stupidity: Use the ears to the one who looks so stupid, eyes to else.

Smartass Disciple: If you are really a master, then make me see miracles!Master of Stupidity: Go to sleep and dream, then wake up thirty years later!

My technique is don’t believe anything. If you believe in something, you are automatically precluded from believing its opposite.

The Bill of Rights wasn’t enacted to give us any rights. It was enacted so the Government could not take away from us any rights that we already had.

There are two kinds of failures: The man who will do nothing he is told and the man who will do nothing else.

Testifying doesn't mean you're bragging.

When do you stop to de-douche?

Say good-bye to the Affordable Care Act. That means 20 million people who lose their health insurance, just like that.

Me just being myself in public or on TV is the biggest nightmare in the world.

I love to produce, and I've directed two short films.

For years I said if I could only find a comfortable chair I would rival Mozart.

In the absence of truth, power is the only game in town.