Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

The Road to success is a pattern that mirrors your behavior for the next halfway

Sparks are warm while they last.

Tyler and me at the edge of the roof, the gun in my mouth, I'm wondering how clean this gun is.

You have striven so hard and so long to compel life. Can't you now slowly change and let life slowly drift into you ... let the invisible life steal into you and slowly possess you.

I have my FaceBook. And if you're naughty, I'll banish you from my kingdom on there.

Novelty is a concept of commerce, not an aesthetic concept.

I only appear to be dead.

They can see their neighbors. Roosters and dogs can be heard from there. Still, they will age and die without visiting one another.

Experience gives us the tests first and the lessons later.

Ever since I was a child, I wanted to excel in everything.