Canada thinks we're married; we don't know it exists. Every time we tell Canada to knock it off, it just feeds the fire.

I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn't be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year's resolution is not to bark back.

I was up late last night yapping about the elections on CNN and up early this morning doing the same thing in my daughter's kindergarten class.

The modern tribalism of the left demands that each person choose a group and then agree with everything that group agrees with. And anybody who leaves that group is stoned to death.

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada.

Feminism's latest victory: the right to get your limbs blown off in war. Congratulations.

Anybody who sides with Canada internationally in a debate between the U.S. and Canada, say, Belgium, is somebody whose opinion we shouldn't care about in the first place.

Unless you know a lot more about something than I do, I am not really that interested. I have too much information already.

It is nice to be around people who think differently than you. They challenge your ideas and keep you from being complacent.

It is increasingly important to be open-minded.

I will say, the one thing Mexico does well is punish prisoners. They do. They're good at that.

A smile is your best beauty asset.

I felt guilty all of a sudden, as if just by existing and talking to him I was leading him on.

I was home-schooled for my entire high school experience, so I never went to prom.

This is a guy [Donald Trump] who has been very consistent on no amnesty, no legalization, for folks who have been coming to the country illegally.

They say you better listen to the voice of reason But they don't give you any choice 'cause they think that it's treason. So you had better do as you are told. You better listen to the radio.

There is no 'one-size-fits-all' way to build an audience.

I'd much rather have 15 people arguing about something than 15 people splitting into two camps, each side convinced it's right and not talking to the other.

Maybe I think too much for my own good.

I've found that musical theater is my passion.

Though my muscles may stiffen, though my skin may wrinkle, may I never find myself yawning at life.