Canadians are always asking the questions the rest of us are afraid to ask.

I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn't be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year's resolution is not to bark back.

I was up late last night yapping about the elections on CNN and up early this morning doing the same thing in my daughter's kindergarten class.

The modern tribalism of the left demands that each person choose a group and then agree with everything that group agrees with. And anybody who leaves that group is stoned to death.

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada.

Feminism's latest victory: the right to get your limbs blown off in war. Congratulations.

Anybody who sides with Canada internationally in a debate between the U.S. and Canada, say, Belgium, is somebody whose opinion we shouldn't care about in the first place.

Unless you know a lot more about something than I do, I am not really that interested. I have too much information already.

It is nice to be around people who think differently than you. They challenge your ideas and keep you from being complacent.

It is increasingly important to be open-minded.

I will say, the one thing Mexico does well is punish prisoners. They do. They're good at that.

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Though the heart may be cracked wide, pain can still seep in.

This was no ordinary UFO. Scores of people saw it. It was no illusion, no deception, no imagination.

It must be hard to cook if you anthropomorphisize your vegetables.

Comedy is very difficult. I love it because when you do it right, its the best feeling in the world.

I always thought that being at Time and tweaking your bosses and exploiting your expense account was just fun. Just joyous.

The air is full of a farewell- deserted by the silver lake lies the wild world, overturned. Cities rise where the mountains fell, the furnace where the phoenix burned

Decriminalizing bodies - this is a big and growing movement.

Virtue's guard is labor; ease, her sleep.

The superfluous is the most necessary.