Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.

Sometimes there is no next time, no time-outs, no second chances. Sometimes it’s now or never.

Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key.

All knowledge is precious whether or not it serves the slightest human use.

History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.

A bookshelf is as particular to its owner as are his or her clothes; a personality is stamped on a library just as a shoe is shaped by the foot.

If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging.

The majority of people perform well in a crisis and when the spotlight is on them; it's on the Sunday afternoons of this life, when nobody is looking, that the spirit falters.

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.

I saw someone peeing in Jermym Street the other day. I thought, is this the end of civilization as we know it? Or is it simply someone peeing in Jermyn Street?

Above literature?' said the Queen. 'Who is above literature? You might as well say one was above humanity.

For Christians above all men are forbidden to correct the stumblings of sinners by force.

Change represents the real spirit of democracy and the real America.

As you strive to attain greater success in life, never forget to brace yourself for the worse”.

I broke my ankle ten years ago so high heels are not an option unless I'm literally going door to door for a function.

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

Joe DiMaggio was quite mean to Marilyn Monroe when they were married. But after she died, he did tend to her grave, which made up for it.

No objects of value are worth risking the priceless experience of waking up one more day.

I like my nuts," Mooner said. "I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then.

They read all the books, but they can't find the answers.

If you have ever clothed another with woe, as with a garment of pain, you will never be quite as happy as though you had not done that thing.