Capitalism is not a Ponzi scheme. Capitalism is a scheme of free markets.

Time is your friend; impulse is your enemy.

Don't look for the needle in the haystack. Just buy the haystack!

Investing is not nearly as difficult as it looks. Successful investing involves doing a few things right and avoiding serious mistakes.

Index funds eliminate the risks of individual stocks, market sectors, and manager selection. Only stock market risk remains.

Learn every day, but especially from the experiences of others. It's cheaper!

The mutual fund industry has been built, in a sense, on witchcraft.

Rely on the ordinary virtues that intelligent, balanced human beings have relied on for centuries: common sense, thrift, realistic expectations, patience, and perseverance.

The historical data support one conclusion with unusual force: To invest with success, you must be a long-term investor.

In the long run, investing is not about markets at all. Investing is about enjoying the returns earned by businesses.

The miracle of compounding returns has been overwhelmed by the tyranny of compounding costs.

Novels are just another kind of cross-dressing, aren't they?

I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad and to travel for it too!

As soon as beauty is sought not from religion and love, but for pleasure, it degrades the seeker.

I didn't know the names of the flowers - now my garden is gone.

A person who can look inside into his soul sees then with his vision one and all standing outside around in support to him that they are only as truthful and trustworthy to him as he to all others.

There is more religion in men's science, than there is science in their religion.

Especially while television I think is going through some growing pains or is in need of - I think current comedy is a bit, uh, not happening, you know?

God teaches us to love by putting some unlovely people around us.

Every setback has a major comeback.

Speaking for myself, I try to go out there on the stage and make jokes with people, so I'm not really thinking about the impact anything I have. If it does resonate with people, that's really great.