Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.

Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!

During a heat wave every dude stinks.

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

Theres nothing to fear but fears themselves, such as monsters, rejection, food poisoning, redundancy, monsters, and oxford commas.

It is wiser to love who you are than what you want.

God's great mercy is the gift of much more grace.

When he smiles like that, there's a single dimple. It was the thing that got me the very first time I saw him.

We all have it in us to be something other than what we are, I thought, but we don't often get a glimpse of what we could have been

I think that not criticizing my successor is a statement unto itself, in terms of trying to create an environment where people are able to have a meaningful discussion or debate without trash talk.

Local competing businesses were thereby losing revenue.

Sadly, the truth is, there aren't many people who can be put in high positions who won't start thinking highly of themselves.

Resurrection means bodily life after ‘life after death,’ or, if you prefer, bodily life after the state of ‘death’

There's a place in Paris where I'd like to work one day. It's called the Slow Club.

Just as there are O.K.-words in conversationship so there are O.K.-people to mention in Newstatesmanship.