Cassandra,” he said, “I hope you know that poaching Muppets is illegal in this country.

When I bite you, it'll be because I want to make your toes curl and your hair stand on end. And you won't need stitches afterward. You'll need crutches.

All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.

The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, "Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!

Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.

Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.

Apparently you don't have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse.

Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads.

That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.

There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven.

I'm sure it's nothing switching to a light beer won't cure.

Miracles happens everyday. You have to open your heart, mind and soul to see these miraculous encounters.

What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.

In a participatory culture, none of us is fully literate unless we're creating, not just consuming.

I want to do things that will change someone's life, not something they'll forget about tomorrow.

Over the years, I have been asked to play these sort of scary frenetic characters that express their emotions physically.

Perhaps no more beautiful passages have ever been written about the Savior's atonement and crucifixion than those written by Isaiah.

I'm not here to cast aspersions on anyone. I'm trying to unify the party, not find fault.

[Barack] Obama seems to have no firm principles that I can discern that he will adhere to.

Nothing of any importance can be taught. It can only be learned, and with blood and sweat.