Catholic extremism should be resisted as fiercely at home as we oppose the Taliban abroad.

If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.

Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.

Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises.

The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.

Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history.

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.

This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence.

Pray don't talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite nervous.

Every Place where we feel safety is a Treasure.Jan Jansen

My understanding of the Scriptures has been made simple by the person of Christ.

Today is my grandfather's birthday." "How old is he?" "Sixty-three. It's hard to believe he was once a human being.

A man who does not lick his lips, can he blame the harmattan for drying them?

I have family in Tanzania. I can't even explain the joy of riding through the Tanzania national park and seeing giraffes run across the road and elephants over in a pond and baboons running.

The trouble with most of the things that people want is that they get them.

If anyone comes near you, just scream and run.

Mum always taught us that compassion and kindness were the most important things in life, that it was better to be kind than right.

When politicians deny anything fiercely, there is a good chance that it will happen.