Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

I’m alone, stumbling through the city in the dark, trying not to let the night freeze my blood.

When you mark where your self-doubt is, then you can begin to conquer it.

I was obsessed with clowns. My dad had to get rid of them. I thought there were clowns under my bed for years.

I love 'Breathe' with Taylor (Swift) but I've been performing 'Lucky' with Jason (MRaz) all over the world in the past year so I'm glad that's what won.

Given two tempers and the time, the ordinary marriage produces anarchy.

Overcoming barriers to performance is how groups become teams.

The ultimate truth is so simple; it is nothing more than being in one’s natural, original state.

There's a bunch of people who sit around and make excuses for themselves and get upset with artists, but you already know what this is - it's an ego-driven business.

I never failed. It just didn't work 10,000 times.

When it seems impossible like nothing is going to work, you are usually just a few millimeters away from making it happen.