Cats are like Baptists. You know they raise hell, but you can never catch them at it.

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

They call me, The Sharkalator

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.

The elixir for the vexed human spirit is quiet thinking and contemplation.

There are many reasons for the decline in royal esteem. One is that so many of the royals are thick.

The man who goes up in a balloon does not feel as if he were ascending; he only sees the earth sinking deeper below him.

There are no impediments now to corporations. None. And what they want is for us to give up. They want us to become passive. They want us to become tacitly complicit in our own destruction.

I'd rather be working for a paycheck, than waiting to win the lottery. Besides, maybe this time it's different, I mean, I really think you like me.

Critics called me 'egregious' - I had to look that one up - and 'creepy', but now I don't read them, I weigh them.

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.

Now I've gone for too long Living like I'm not alive So I'm going to start over tonight Beginning with you and I

When we get the inspiration from Heave to do something. We do it now. We don't procrastinate.