Cats do not hunt seals. They would hunt them if they knew what seals and where to find them. But they do not know, so it's okay.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Children should be able to live a life free from electromagnetic field (EMF) exposure and radio frequency (RF) radiation pollution and it is time that we all took a stand against this.

Strategy is methodical, but the one who steers chaos and randomness can steer God.

Every night I build a fire for you, Alowa. Every night I dance on the rooftop for you. Look at the flames, Alowa. Aren’t they beautiful? Look at the smoke. I’m dancing in the smoke, Alowa.

Spending only what the country can afford, rewarding savings, encouraging independence, supporting marriage: people know that these things are common sense.

I don't care how much talent a team has - if the boys don't think tough, practice tough, and live tough, how they play tough on Saturday.

Of all wild beasts preserve me from a tyrant; and of all tame a flatterer.

Knowing we will be with Christ forever far outweighs our burdens today! Keep your eyes on eternity!

You just have to go after what you want and if it doesn't want you back then so be it; it doesn't deserve you anyways.

When you have an inspired thought, you must trust it and act on it.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.