Celebrity is just obscurity biding its time.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.

If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.

No motive is pure. No one is good or bad-but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away.

My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life.

I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I'm still surviving it, but bring it on. Better me than you.

There is no point at which you can say, "Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap."

I get lots of awards for being mentally ill. Apparently, I am better at being mentally ill than almost anything else I've ever done. Seriously - I have a shelf of awards for being bipolar.

You know the bad thing about being a survivor... You keep having to get into difficult situations in order to show off your gift.

It's impossible having five, six, seven people in a room being creative together and not fight, because you want to fight. It's the only way creativity works, if you all put your ideas in.

I'm 23 but I got a brain like I'm 32 man, switched the numbers around. Smart kid too, straight-A student, I was just a class clown.

Ah, no, deployment was delayed after you left. Technical difficulties.” “Oh?” “Yes, it was technically difficult to leave a heartbroken Alpha.

I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience; they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'

They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom

Write a smart joke and people want to talk about it and keep the dialogue going. Also, if you can make someone laugh, it's a pronouncement that they like you on some level.

Political system is contrary to everything a feminine heart stands for. It lacks tenderness. It lacks poetry. It doesn't nurture. It doesn't love. And without those things, a woman's soul is bereft.

There will be over 3,500 killed in USA today from abortion. No flags lowered, no presidents crying. No media hyperventilating. Normal day.

You see a person when you look in the mirror that no one sees but you. Other people see a person when they look at you, but you're not that person, either.

Faith is important to me.