Celebrity is no different from any other energy. It's a force for good or evil. It's no different from money. It's power.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

When young people are insecure, they find ways to manufacture love tests – personal metrics to reassure themselves.

In Gods infinite wisdom if he send you to Heaven or Hell should you love him any less?

History is, indeed, an argument without end.

I've resolved so many things in my life. I like the idea of showing that you can go through a lot and still be on your feet, still be working, and still be positive about life.

No sane man objects to palpable lies about him; what he objects to is damaging facts.

A common greeting was 'Well, Gillette, how's the razor?' If I had been technically trained, I would have quit.

Many a good beginning makes a bad ending.

I have learned that it is far easier to write a speech about good advertising than it is to write a good ad.

To have somone hold you could be the greatest medicine of all.

Nobody drowns by falling in the water...but by staying there.