Celery, raw, Develops the jaw

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

The greatest sin you could commit is immortality, because it means that you’ll eventually commit all else.

A world without fairy tales and myths would be as drab as life without music

Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.

First, I prepare. Then I have faith.

I always feel that there is a curtain, you know, that if I could just peek behind the curtain I'd see how the world really works. And since I haven't had it I have to write about it instead.

I grew up in New York in an English-speaking environment.

Because you aren't who you think you are. You aren't what everyone else believes. You might have delivered countless deaths but you love more fiercely than anyone I've ever known.

Faith is not the absence of doubt; it is continuing to follow Jesus in the midst of doubt.

It looks like I'm going to be 40 and life begins at 40 -​ so they promise. And I believe it, too.