Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Dominant negativity cheats reality of its mutual positives.

Gender identity is our internal response to a social construction that attempts to make a connection between a person’s biological makeup and their eventual role in society.

That’s the funny thing about guns

Nausea and panic rose in my throat. I had killed a man.

Worry does not mean fear, but readiness for the confrontation.

I have spent the better part of my adult life standing up and fighting for working families.

I hate banana bread. It's too suspicious-looking. I always thought the cooked banana looked like insect legs.

Grant me, O Lord, a sunny mind-Thy windy will to bear!

Those who wish to appear learned to fools, appear as fools to the learned.

Those who labor for bread or money alone are condemned to their reward.