Charity and good-nature give a sanction to the most common actions; and pride and ill-nature make our best virtues despicable.

Good fellowship and friendship are lasting, rational and manly pleasures.

Hunger, revenge, to sleep are petty foes, But only death the jealous eyes can close.

A mistress should be like a little country retreat near the town, not to dwell in constantly, but only for a night and away.

I love to be envied, and would not marry a wife that I alone could love; loving alone is as dull as eating alone.

Women of quality are so civil, you can hardly distinguish love from good breeding.

Money makes up in a measure all other wants in men.

Next to the pleasure of finding a new mistress is that of being rid of an old one.

But methings wit is more necessary than beauty; and I think no young woman ugly that has it, and no handsome woman agreeable without it

Marrying to increase love is like gaming to become rich; alas, you only lose what little stock you had before.

He's a fool that marries; but he's a greater fool that does not marry a fool.

Animals are complicated and so is the animal-rights opposition. It's hard to read motives in animals, and hard to read motives in politics.

Remember that time you tried to hump the bridge?

If you can educate girls, you can change the world.

The United Nations is a mess, riddled with scandals. In fact, the U.N. itself is a scandal.

The first feminine feature that goes, with advancing age, is the neck.

I feel like a visitor just about everywhere.

I am not out to destroy Microsoft, that would be a completely unintended side effect.

When you see the flower of happiness on your way, don't take it immediately; sit and watch it and realise how rare it is!

The knowledge that my discriminations are skewed and not always universally desirable doesn't stop me in the least from making them.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I know I can.